Charlie the Rooster and the Problem of Immigration

Tulip: I don’t know why Dr. Mommy had to 

bring Charlie into our house.

Tony: You don’t like change.

Tulip: Oh, please. You won’t even try watermelon.

Tony: I don’t mind Charlie. We’ve worked things out. 

I stay out of his way and he stays out of mine.

Tulip: He’s out to get me. Remember how he 

attacked me two weeks ago?

Tony: Just stay off the rug. That’s his turf.

Tulip: He should go back where he came from.

Tony: You sound like Arizona. Now who’s the Republican?

Tulip: Why don’t you fly back to Australia where you belong!

Tony: You know perfectly well that I was born in the good old USA. That’s why I have this damn silver band on my leg. Which, by the way, you don’t.

Tulip: What are you implying, white boy?

Tony: That maybe you were born in Africa, Ms. AFRICAN grey.

Tulip: Oh, the old Birther strategy rears its ugly head. 

I thought we were done with that, Trump face.

Tony: No need to be nasty.

Tulip: I’m sick of being the Least Loved Bird. I was here 

first! Why doesn’t Dr. Mommy love me anymore?

Tony: Stop eating her books. Why do you keep doing it?

Tulip: I don’t know, Dr. Freud. What do you think?

Tony: Well — I think you’d rather have negative attention than none at all.

Tulip: Oh, really, you think so, huh? I don’t need your 

free analysis, Beak Breath.

Tony: Okay, I’ll bill you.